


The Definition of "Pertinent"

by kandrona



Category: Kamen Rider W (Double)
Genre: Arguing, Feng Shui, Gen, Kamen Rider Kink Meme, One Shot, Past Tense, Post-Episode: e008 Find the C/Dancing Hero, Trapped In A Confined Space To Resolve An Argument
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 16:12:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10722756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kandrona/pseuds/kandrona
Summary: Philip is determined to make up with Shotaro after an argument.





	The Definition of "Pertinent"

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a fill for the [Kamen Rider Kink Meme](https://kamenrider.dreamwidth.org/4239.html) back in 2014.

"Philip!"

Shotaro's scream resounded throughout the garage. Philip didn't look up from the book he was perusing, or indeed show any signs that he'd actually heard his partner's abnormally-loud voice.

"Philip, damn it! What did you do?!" Shotaro stormed across the grating and grabbed hold of Philip's shoulder.

Philip glanced up, blinking in confusion. "To what are you referring, Shotaro?"

"The office! The furniture!"

A light went off in Philip's head. "Ah, you mean how I rearranged everything? It's the most fascinating subject..." He gestured to the nearest whiteboard, where he'd written his notes. "Have you heard of feng shui? It's a Chinese philosophical system. In essence, by arranging your physical surroundings in a particular way—"

"Stop!" Whether or not Shotaro was aware of feng shui, he clearly wasn't interested in hearing Philip's explanation. "I don't care. You moved the boss's desk! You _don't_ mess with the boss's desk."

"Is that all?" Philip's gaze drifted back down to his book.

"You put the foosball table in the alcove, the bed in the kitchen, and the refrigerator next to the door!"

"Yes, I deduced that that arrangement was optimal."

"And worst of all, you— Hey, look at me!" Shotaro grabbed Philip's shoulder and shook him. "You scattered my hats all over the floor! I stepped on one of them before I noticed!"

"Then you should have been more attentive," Philip said lightly.

"Argh!" Shotaro shoved Philip and started back toward the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To put everything back!"

Philip looked up in shock. He closed his book and hurried after Shotaro. "Wait, but if you do that the harmony will be disrupted! This could very well be the key to improving our business, Shotaro."

Shotaro shook his head and exited into the office proper.

Philip frowned at the door.

* * *

When Philip finally emerged from the hangar for dinner at around ten that night, the office was a mess. Only some of the rearranged furniture had been put back in its rightful place, leaving the harmonic balance even worse than it had been before Philip had moved anything.

Shotaro pointedly did not look up from his typewriter. "Dinner's in the refrigerator," he grunted.

Ah, it was ramen. Philip actually liked cold ramen — he'd eaten nothing but that for a week at one point — so he dug right in without bothering to heat it. "You could have left it on the counter. Or did you think I'd be in there all night?"

"Wouldn't be the first time."

Shotaro was being unusually curt. Philip didn't like it. "Are you still upset about earlier?" he asked bluntly.

Shotaro glared up at him. "Of course I am! Why would you just do that, Philip?!"

"I was just..."

"I know what you were _just_. You got a subject in your head and you didn't think about the consequences." Rather than angry, Shotaro just sounded... tired. "Forget it. I'll put everything back tonight. Go back to reading about whatever you're into now."

That dismissal stung. Philip set his ramen down and returned to the garage.

* * *

The next time Shotaro stepped into the garage, Philip was lying in wait. He grabbed his partner's arm and dragged him down the stairs.

"Philip? What the—"

Punching numbers on his Stag Phone, Philip dragged Shotaro into the RevolGarry's cockpit. The walls closed around them. Just before it closed up completely, he tossed his phone up and out. He grinned as the sound of it landing on the floor reached his ears.

Shotaro screamed. He grabbed the front of Philip's vest and shook him. "Why would you do that?!"

"Don't worry," Philip chided him. "I set a timer. We'll be automatically released an hour from now."

With an angry huff, Shotaro shoved Philip away and started to pace. "What were you _thinking_?!"

"This is a time-tested method of reconciliation." Philip grinned proudly. "When two people are arguing, it's proven that confining them together so they have no choice but to talk out their differences is effective in helping them to reconcile."

"Eh?" Shotaro boggled. "We're arguing?"

"You've been upset with me ever since this afternoon, Shotaro." Philip's grin faded. Despite how proud he was with himself for coming up with this idea, it was clear that he was worried.

Shotaro deflated. He pulled off his fedora and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, yeah. You completely messed up the office."

"But the feng shui—"

"—is nonsense," Shotaro insisted. "And this isn't the first time you've gotten neck-deep in your research and done something totally irresponsible. Case in point." He spread his arms to gesture to the RevolGarry enclosing them. "It's like you don't think about what happens as a result!"

He didn't think about what happened? Philip leaned against one wall, touching his fingers to his lower lip thoughtfully. "But I do," he protested. "The result of our being locked in here is that we will discuss our problems and work them out. That is already happening," he added.

"And in the meantime we're stuck in here!" Shotaro banged his fist against the opposite wall. "What if someone comes to the office?"

"This late at night?"

"Crime doesn't sleep, Philip." Shotaro blew into his fedora and set it back on his head.

"Then you think I need to be more... conscientious." He picked at his lip. "I see... I've never noticed a problem before, to be honest."

"That's my _point_ ," Shotaro said in exasperation.

"When doing my research I take every pertinent variable into account, though!"

"Then what you need to do is expand your definition of 'pertinent'."

That made something click in Philip's head. "So, for example," he said slowly, "when I was rearranging the office earlier to improve the harmony of the arrangement, I should have considered how you would feel about finding everything moved around."

"Exactly." Though it was dark, Philip thought he saw a smile on Shotaro's face.

"I see. Then that, too, is pertinent information."

Shotaro crossed the distance across the cockpit and clapped Philip on the back. "Exactly. Sounds like you're getting it. And when you were considering getting us stuck in here, you should have considered..."

"The possibility of somebody stopping by the office even at this late hour." Philip's face twisted in discomfort. "As well as the inaccessibility of a toilet."

Shotaro stared for a moment, then sighed.

This was going to be a long fifty minutes.


End file.
